Cysts & the sort

So today I went to the Gynaecologist...

Yes, that doctor that strikes fear into every woman that I know.  Why anyone would CHOOSE to go to one is beyond me, but it is a necessity & I am lucky to have found one that is just wonderful & keeps me laughing throughout everything.

I have had bad luck with doctors (especially gynaes) & the issues that come with them...

I have had ovarian cysts, pain, botched operations (that ended up with my bowel being nicked, me getting septicemia & ending up on a ventilator in a medically induced coma...) & all sorts of "fun" tests.  So as you can guess, I was NOT looking forward to this appointment at all.  But with all my meds, & the fact that I haven't fallen pregnant yet, I thought it best to go to one & get everything checked out to make sure I am working correctly.

Interesting scars from my last operation

I tried a gynae closer to home that many of my friends had recommended & she was wonderful!  She put me at ease straight away, although after I had told her all my medical issues (Myasthenia Gravis; medications I am on; history of operations; history of ovarian cysts), she laughingly told me I am proving to be a problem patient already!

We went through to her other room, I changed into the gown & lay on the bed with husband sitting next to me.   Already I was freaking out, & she hadn't even started anything yet.  We put through the usual prodding, poking, squeezing & all that nonsense; & then she started with the proper examination.

Straight away I could see that something was wrong.  By looking at the screen I could see a lot of dark blobs, & tiny "bubbles" on my right ovary.  Yip, the cysts are back - with a vengeance.  The main cyst is huge - enormous actually.  She tried measuring it from all different angles & said it was one of the biggest cysts she has seen.  She said surgery is probable, & while they are in there they will test my tubes to see if they have been damaged by my previous surgeries, or if they are just blocked.  I also had to go for a blood test - one as a fertility-type test (have to go for another one on day 3 of my period) & another to make sure the cysts aren't cancerous.  She is concerned at the size of it & would rather be safe than sorry.  Results will be back with her soon & I will go back in a month to decide where we go from here.  Oh, & she said it looks like I have developed endometriosis on top of this.  All of these factors have impacted on me not falling pregnant.

I feel completely drained.  I had to try so hard to hold myself together whilst in her room, but when I got back I just broke down.  Why me?  I would love to go to the doctor & just have one of them say, "Wow!  You are in perfect health!  Why don't you just go home & have a huge chocolate ice cream?".  I wish.  Right now I am terrified.  I know God doesn't give you what you can't handle, but sometimes I feel like I can't be tested or pushed much more.

But I am thinking positively - maybe once they do the op, they can clear my tubes & we can make mini-me's!  Wouldn't that be fantastic?  So please keep us in your prayers.  My next appointment is in a month, & from there I will probably have to go see a fertility specialist ($$$$$$$$$$$) & take things from there.

Love, light, sunshine & happy thoughts coming to each of you.

Thank you xxx