Time

I haven't written a blog in what seems like forever...  I honestly don't know where time has gone.  Life seems to be so hectic at the moment that I have battled to find the time to sit down & write - without wanting to just fall asleep!

Life is good.  It is hectic but I am strong.  MG is not giving me too many issues, with only my talking letting me down occasionally; and this is mainly only after a long day at work.  My hands are working well, & my fingers don't want to constantly drop things as they did previously.  I haven't choked on any food in some time now (touch wood) & I have even managed to wear heels out in public without my legs collapsing beneath me.  So all in all life is pretty darn amazing!

Work has been very busy, which I enjoy.  It makes the days go by quickly & keeps my brain on top of its game, as well as thinking of other things rather than my health.  We have plans nearly every weekend, with baby showers;  birthday parties & time with family.  I cannot believe it is already August.  Where has this year gone??

I have been continuing with my appointments with Dr Colin (the fertility specialist) & so far things seem to be working.  This last month I finally had a healthy, good-sized egg & I am still taking all the tablets that will hopefully help us to have that baby we have so been hoping for.  My progesterone levels are also higher (i.e. I am VERY emotional!).  

Every month is difficult.  We wait & wait-then good old Penny decides to drop in for another visit.  Silly woman.  I am trying very hard to sound nonchalant about this, but inside it breaks me.  I feel like a failure as a wife.  It is our greatest desire to have a baby.  People keep telling me to forget about it & then it will happen.  Believe me, if I could I would.  But how can I when I have been told I have until the end of the year to fall pregnant before more drastic steps have to be taken?  How can I when every month is a waiting game?  How can I when it seems like every second person I talk to is pregnant?  How can I when it lies heavy on my heart?  How can I when people are always asking us when we are going to have that baby, or want to offer us advice on what works best to fall pregnant?  I know they are probably just trying to help, but it cuts right into my soul every time.  We have been praying over this & I have handed it over to God.  It is in his hands now, & I know that it will happen - in His time.  Mark 11:24 says this, "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."

The ribbons I made for friends with a tiny snowflake in the centre!

I have so many ideas for different blog subjects that I want to write on, but to find the time currently & get my head around everything is proving to be very tricky.  I will get there & hopefully will get back on track with putting all my thoughts into action!

I just want to take a moment to thank everyone who helped me to create awareness for Myasthenia Gravis during the month of June, the international awareness month for MG.  Thank you to everyone who wore my ribbons, bought my car stickers & taught people something about MG.  I have had such an amazing response & really just want to thank everyone for standing beside me & supporting me in every way possible.  You guys are legends!  I am truly blessed to have an amazing support team & you are the reason I get up every morning, smile & get through the day.  Thank you for your support, for loving me (warts & all) but most of all for helping me to see there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

The car decal I have on my car to try create awareness

Car decal friends & family have bought to put on their cars

I am grateful for the tough times I have been through.  These have helped me to truly appreciate the good times; to live every day as if it is my last; and to be the person that I am today.  I have learnt to trust God completely.  He sees the bigger picture & I know He has an amazing plan for my life!  If I can help just one other person going through a similar issue, then I will be happy.  I am the person I am today because of my MG & what it has taught me.  It has helped me to mature; be more understanding & patient; love others for their differences/individuality; make the most of every opportunity; & also not to take my health for granted.

Our lives were given to us as a gift.  We should treasure every day, & treasure every person that crosses our path.  Maybe we can learn something from them; or maybe we were meant to meet them to cheer them up & help them see the good in laugh. 

So remember, be friendly.  Smile at the grocery packer & cashier.  Take the time to talk to the car guard.  Make friends with your colleagues.  Play with kids.  Spend time with your granny.  Support those less fortunate than yourselves.  You don't know what other people are going through & how much your simple smile or word could mean to them.  And hopefully one day if you are having a bad day, you will come across a stranger who will remind you how special you are & will give you a smile to brighten up your day!